LT Karen "Buster"
Reynolds turned her F/A-18H inbound toward the carrier and flew at
low cruise airspeed into an empty sky filled with stars. The Moon was
new, not even above the horizon at the moment. It was always
beautiful to see so many stars in the sky this far from land. She
moved her head to see whether a blur was a smudge on the canopy or a
distant nebula. Not a smudge. Combat Air Patrol could be tense, but
what could go wrong on a night like this?
"Alpha Romeo Four Six,
this is Alpha Romeo Three Five," Dave "Reef" Black
called over the CAP frequency, "I've got a bogie on my heads-up
display!"
Karen glanced at her
Heads-Up-Display. Reef was thirty miles away, headed outbound from
the carrier.
"Three Five, Four Six,
gimme a break," Karen replied. "I've been looking at that
piece of sky all night. There's nothing out there."
"Alpha Romeo 35, this is
Crystal Ball," Carrier Air Traffic Control radioed. "What's
the classification of your bogie?"
"Crystal, Alpha Romeo
Three Five, contact possible extraterrestrial."
"Roger, Three Five,"
CATC replied. "Take immediate action to identify the intruder."
"Shit, Hack," she
muttered over the intercom to Jim McNeil, her Weapon Systems Officer.
"We're gonna be out here all night,"
The intercom was suspiciously
silent. Karen increased the volume. Soft snores were the only sound
from the rear cockpit.
Karen slammed the stick left,
then right, rocking the aircraft abruptly.
"What the..." McNeil
blurted over the intercom.
"Wake up!"
"I'm awake now," he
snarled. "You trying to break my neck?"
"You hear any of this?"
"Lemme see," he
mumbled. "Something about a bogie?"
"Dave Asshole Black
thinks he's spotted a UFO."
"Lemme guess,"
McNeil said. He sounded awake now. "It's right in the center of
the HUD in the fifty-mile range mode."
"Don't know."
"I'll find out. Let me
send 'em a text."
"Okay, let me know."
She continued her pattern
inbound toward the carrier. When she got there, she'd reverse course
and continue the racetrack pattern she'd been following for an hour
already.
"Yup, just like I
thought." McNeil chortled.
"What?"
"They say it's right in
the center of the display, fifty-mile range."
"So?"
"It's a known software
glitch," Hack said. "Raytheon sent out a bulletin. Didn't
you guys get a briefing?"
"That's why I love flying
with you," she said. "You keep track of that shit for me."
"Reef's flying with
Thumbs tonight. Thumbs isn't big on technical details. That's
probably why Reef doesn't know about it."
"We got two choices,"
Karen said. "We can bore holes in the sky 'til we're down to
bingo ..."
"Or?"
"We can have some fun
with Reef."
"How?"
"When he turns inbound,"
she said, "we'll be turning outbound. We kill the rotating
beacon, fly right at him with just the low vis position lights on.
He'll see our lights right where the bogie should be. He'll think
we're the UFO."
"I dunno, Buster,"
Hack said. "Reef might run into us while he's staring at the
tactical display."
"You worry too much.
We'll know where he is. If we get too close, I'll break it off."
"I guess."
After their outbound turn,
Karen shut down the beacon, nudged the airspeed up and wished she
could see the expression on Reef's face when he thought he was being
chased by a UFO.
She shifted left and right in
her seat, trying to get comfortable. As if. The stiff foam pad on top
of the survival kit felt like granite. The price you pay for being
able to eject in an emergency.
"Hack," she said
over the intercom, "have a look further out. I don't really
expect the Iranians to do anything tonight but I don't want to be
caught napping."
She moved her head around,
looking forward, trying to see if she could pick up Reef's aircraft
visually. He was on her HUD, but the range was close enough she might
see him.
There! No, that one was moving
right to left. The HUD showed Reef's aircraft dead ahead, still
heading outbound. The errant light went behind Reef and failed to
emerge. Must be her imagination.
"Buster," Hack said,
"there's something weird going on here tonight. The radar seems
to be picking up multiple targets dead ahead, but the range
fluctuates in big jumps. It could be interference with Reef's
aircraft, but the HUD's showing him rock steady."
"35, 46," Karen
radioed, "it's about time for your turn inbound. Hack thinks we
might get a better look at your bogie if you turn toward the ship."
"35, roger," Reef
called. "Turning."
Reef's aircraft slid left on
the HUD, turning back toward the ship. Reaching down, she killed all
her external lights except the low visibility ones.
"The bogie's still dead
center in the HUD," Reef radioed. "Nothing on Earth can
move like that."
"Okay, Hack," Karen
said over the intercom. "I'm going radio silence and turning
five degrees left. Let's see if we can give Reef a scare."
"Okay," Hack
replied. "Just don't give us a scare. You can't afford any more
air discipline infractions on your record. I'm not interested in any
trouble on my last week in the squadron."
"Shut it. I can take care
of myself."
The intercom clicked twice,
the only reply she got.
She wiggled her fingers in the
Nomex flight gloves, trying to get a more sensitive feel for the
stick. She and Reef were closing at a high rate of speed, she had to
be ready to move on a dime.
"Crystal, 35,"
Reef's voice rose in panic. "I see it. It's heading right toward
me. I'm taking evasive action if it gets any closer."
"Reef," Karen
radioed, "try a gentle turn. Maybe that'll shake it off."
She saw Reef’s
anti-collision beacon move left. She turned to follow it.
"It's after me!"
Reef shouted into the radio, call sign discipline forgotten.
"Knock it off, Buster,"
Hack said from the back seat. "We're getting too close."
"Roj."
Karen banked hard to the
right, simultaneously turning on the anti-collision beacon and
external lights. After fifteen degrees of turn, she turned back left
to pass alongside Reef, missing by a comfortable margin.
"What the..." Reef
radioed.
"35, 46, this is Lion
Tamer," said a low-pitched, gravelly voice over the radio. The
Air Wing Commander. "What's going on out there?"
"Nothin’, CAG,"
Reef responded. "Uh, this is Alpha Romeo 36."
"You two are our combat
air patrol. What's this about ET?"
"Lion Tamer, 45,"
Karen radioed. "Nothing, CAG."
"35, concur," Reef
said.
"Get your asses back
here," CAG radioed. "I'm sending the five-minute alert
aircraft out to relieve you. You'll both have a week to think about
how this is going to be written up."
"Hack, have you got
anything on the scope?" Karen asked over the intercom
"I got a couple of blips,
dead center, but they came and went."
"What was it?"
"Damfino. I'll have to
check with Thumbs when we get back."
"You'll have plenty of
time to check," Karen said. "I'm guessing we're all going
to be shitty little jobs officers for a week."
* * *
"That was close,"
First Officer Ndrang said. "I told you not to get so near those
Earth aircraft."
"It wasn't my fault,"
Third Pilot !@brrr whined. Insofar as a sneed, whose vocalizations
were lower than human infrasound, could in fact whine. But some
behaviors are pan-specific, even though their expressions may be
unrecognizable to any but their conspecifics.
"It most certainly was
your fault," Ndrang thundered. Insofar as a Krrring could
thunder. Their extremely high-pitched voices, when angry, sounded
much like two rocks dragging against each other. "I specifically
told you not to place our vehicle in a position where it could be
detected. But did you listen? Noooo."
"The Galactic Overlord
will not be pleased," !@brrr rumbled. "The last time this
happened, three of their conspecifics ended up being embalmed by
these barbarians."
"Galactic Overlord, my
middle appendage," Ndrang screeched. "What they call
themselves when they communicate with the barbarians means nothing.
How can something that stupid be overlord of anything? They're
nothing more than a political hack who got sent here as punishment
for screwing up the Spiral Arm negotiations. They've been here eight
nines of this backwater planet's years and we've had one crisis after
another."
"Fortunately, we can
cover this one up. If not, you'd be here until the Overlord is
relieved."
* * *
Hack McNeil climbed out of the
back seat of his F/A-18, helmet bag in hand. He reached into the bag
and pulled out a small black plastic box. He pressed a button on the
box, a light blinked on and off, and the nullifier erased all
evidence of their UFO encounter from his aircraft's system memory. He
activated the nullifier again as he walked past Reef Black's aircraft
and wiped its memory as well. He'd write up another gripe about the
fifty-mile range glitch and his work would be done.
As he passed a parked
helicopter and stepped over its tie-down chains to get to the island,
he sighed. One more week and he'd be headed back to Area 51 where he
could shuck this human disguise. The Overlord owed him big time.
<<<<>>>>
Steven Fritz has been many
things: firefighter, Naval Aviator, medical school professor,
university research administrator, seed stage venture fund manager,
entrepreneur. Now that he's retired he calls on this background to
imagine different futures for humanity. He lives in Columbia,
Maryland with his wife.
This
story was first published by Antipodean SF
For
more by Steven Fritz, you can check out his amazon page here